The ups and downs of the menopause…

OK this one will be interesting I believe, challenging and I might change my mind in the middle of writing that peace, because well mood swings ….

What is menopause

I believe there are a lots of materials on menopause and I am not a doctor. But menopause is when the hormones are changing in your body.

The level of estrogen and progesterone are reducing causing the periods to stop.

It is part of life and should not be feared but understood.

We are extremely lucky to be living our lives in this century. Science now has an understanding of what is happening to women and can help.

Effects of menopause

So here where the problem starts.

When those hormones are saying bye bye, all the sides effects are jumping right in.

You never know which exquisite surprise will come out of the so many different options that brings the menopause cabinet of joy!

I will mention some effects which can be different for everyone but here are the ones mentioned the most often knowing the list is not limited to those.

But I like to share what I am familiar with from personal experience or sharing with the friends because sharing is caring!

• Hot flushes

• Mood swings

• Sleep issues

• Fuzzy brain

• Body changes

• And the others which I will not mention in this blog

• And one superpower...

Hot flushes

This one does not seem to bad when you hear it right, we all have been to the gym, walked in the sun and we were hot.

And that is what everyone thinks happen.

But no and this is my very limited experience of hot flushes….crazy time. That is what it is.

You are sitting down writing on your computer and all the sudden that rush of hotness appears out of no where.

It is lava coming from the inside and it just keep pulsing through your veins, your organs.

It last a few seconds, a few minutes and then it goes away….but it does not disappear completely.

You open the window, take your jumper off and you feel that the moment has past….but then it starts again, over and over. Almost like contractions when you are in labor.

Yes labor people….it is not constant, it comes and goes as it pleases but the threat of starting again is there all the time…..

You always wonder when the next wage will come, and it will come at night…..you are sleeping having a wonderful dream and suddenly the place is on fire….you wake up sweating, thirsty….and you cannot go back to sleep, you are cold from the sweat now that it stopped. You need to change your sheets 3 times more often that usual….

I am a cold creature and I thought maybe I will enjoy those but NOPE even the items that seems that could be enjoyable for a person like me were not.

Saying that I only suffered for a week personally, I cannot imagine what it is for people suffering for years….

Mood swing….mood pit.

Or going bat shit crazy….I believe this expression describes my experience the best.

Again I am speaking of my experience so please if your definition and experience of mood swing is different well….write your own blog about it.

In my case it was very confusing and it was not actually one moment you are happy and one moment you are sad, no no…..

This is why I am saying mood swing might not be exactly accurate but this is the expression used so I will borrow it.

Here what was happening to me, I would wake up in a bad mood. We can refer to the coming paragraph due to insufficient sleep maybe or previous paragraph due to hot flushes not allowing a proper sleep.

What ever the reason, this was the beginning of the day.

I did not have good and bad, I had bad and worst. What I did not like, I really did not like and what I might have liked I did not like and what I had to do because it was needed was terrible just to think of it.

That is not helping too much so to put it in different words I guess it was similar to a depression but with incoherence moments.

Example

The trauma of having to select a light bulb….one of the lamp needed a light bulb. Went to B&Q and was looking at the light bulb options and just started crying….because there were too many light bulb options!

Is this a rational reaction to the opulence of modern world which provided too many light bulbs options! No but it was the reaction I had.

Did I look like a crazy person in the shop most probably….did I or do I care…..no but still unsettling reaction for your love ones.

And this was my life because of those crazy hormones that decided to leave me……with my sense of rational.

There would be many more examples but you might really think that I am bat shit crazy LOL

Sleep….oh sleep how I miss you

So here we are talking about sleep or lack of.

This part will be pretty short as not much explanation to give really.

You go to bed and you fall asleep….for a period of time. Then you wake up for unknown reason….did you hear something, do you need toilets, are you hot, are you cold, did you close the front door, are you thirsty, it is too bright…..and the list goes on, and on….

I do not believe I had a full night sleep in 15 years, so now it is said that older people do not need as much sleep and maybe it is why I am now getting up at 6am when I struggled for decades getting up at 8am if I did not go to bed by 9pm. But now it seems that 7 hours sleep (which for me is not much) is now the norm.

But the afternoon as hard because I feel tired but at 5pm then I am awake.

It is such a strange one, but not the worst. So that is all I have to say about it even though it would be nice to have a full night sleep….would I appreciate it?

Fuzzy brain here I come

This one is actually after mood pit the worst of the symptoms. You cannot finish your sentences, you cannot have full ideas making sense. You forget why you came downstairs, at least 3 times a day….

I had to change my HRT patch to a different brand and the patches were not sticking properly.

Well if the patch does not stuck the drug does not get distributed and I could feel everyday the fuzzy brain getting worst and worst. Everyone was noticing as I could not find simple words such as Hot sauce….it was “you know the mayonnaise kind of sauce that is spicy”….but the actual fog is very scary.

It is hard to explain and for someone who has not gone through it, but when the HRT kicks in again and after 2 hours the lift, then you know exactly what it means.

The words come back, the ideas are making sense, you can make plans with more than 2 steps in it.

I wonder without being disrespectful if this is actually similar to what happens to someone who has dementia or Alzheimer or any degenerating mental decease, that loss of capacity. Of course for us menopausal women we have the option to take HRT (Hormones Replacement Therapy) which is a God saving cure.

But still it is loosing control of your abilities and women suffer from it for centuries with being told to get on with life and stop complaining.

I am definitely happy to be alive in this century….

Body changes

This one is actually interesting as it is not mentioned as often as we would think.

Hair loss is mentioned and skin condition also, dry vagina, dry skin….all those are mentioned.

But I am talking the fact that your body shape actually changes drastically.

Again talking of experience. Yes I have put on weight, but this time it is different. I cannot understand the change, I had weight gain in the past but my body shape did not change.

This time I cannot wear any of the clothes I used to wear even in bigger sizes.

This part is personally really destabilising as it is not just increasing the size of the clothes as mentioned it is after 50 years changing my vision of my body.

This is the part that I am struggling the most because HRT is not the solution.

Going to the gym even though really good for the soul, body, mind is not giving back what has been lost.

I think I need to mourn my old body and engage with that new body as well as embrace it as in the end you only have one body.

The superpower of the menopause

I was talking to a friend who mentioned the superpower of the menopause….I actually got confused for a second but then I had to acknowledge it.

Yes there is a superpower that is developed with the menopause as long as the woman let it come out.

It is the power “TO NOT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE” not care what others think.

To finally do what you want to do, when you want to do it, how you want to do it.

And it is wonderful, as long as you let that superpower out and drive you.

When the superpower is suppressed, it is actually very dangerous for self and others.

The frustration is real and can explode any moment, so ladies embrace your super power to do what you want and stop putting every one else ahead of you.

It is your time to shine, use the HRT to help with all the other symptoms.

Women suffered for centuries, misunderstood, ignored…now we can be heard and we can take control of our lives.

So enjoy that time and until next time….