First time

I believe first times are interesting concepts.

First time can be scary, exiting, disappointing….they are a first and can definitely be unexpected but they can never be repeated

First impression

This is very important especially professionally.

It says that within a few seconds of seeing someone for the first time you make a judgement.

There is a feeling, a perception and that first impression is very hard to break.

If it is a good first impression then all good and the other way around is also hard to destroy.

But if someone meets you and has a bad feeling about you then it is very hard as mentioned to change the mind of that person.

Saying that if it is in your advantage obviously you need to try to do that.

But when it comes to you I believe you should not avoid it.

I had bad feelings several times in my life and a few times I decided to ignore that feeling and be friend with those people and each time in the end it bit me in the ….you know why.

I now try to listen to that little voice and especially professionally, even though you cannot avoid those people I am always weary of them.

Your instinct is indeed here to protect you.

First kiss

As you know I have been watching many K-Dramas and you most of the time have to wait many episodes before the first kiss happens.

It makes me think a lot about the fact you can never get that first kiss back. But you can also miss the opportunity of the first kiss and makes you miss the chance as well. I wrote another blog about that so you can read that another time.

Butt here we are talking about the first time you kiss someone altogether or a new partner.

And obviously the very first time is always the most scary because you do not know what to expect, same with the next step of the relationship, so those items are put together.

Anyway, most of the time the first time happens when you are a teenager, you have all the hormones, all the expectations and all the exitement.

So the first kiss is highly expected, OK here I talk as a girl, I assume same for the boys but maybe not….anyway we want romantic, we want truthfulness, we believe the first kiss will be Dynamite but vert often it is not. It is wet and intrusive, until you actually kiss the frog that will become your prince, if this analogy is still valid now days.

But once the first kiss is done, then it is expected that you are untitled to as many kiss as you want and it becomes less special in a way because it is not forbidden anyway.

The first kiss is awaiting so much, holding hands for the first time get you giddy. It is actually hard to describe the anticipation when you are attracted to someone and you want that lip to lip contact….until it happens you are not sure that the other person also wants it.

There are the looks, the reading of the body language, the fear to be rejected when you get closer to kiss the person, the heart rate increasing in anticipation.

But also the fact that before that first kiss, you are restraining yourself so much.

That phase in a couple or pre-couple is such an interesting phase and in a way you do not want to have that phase too long as it is very hard to stop yourself from wanting the first contact but if it goes on too long I believe then it creates some kind of volt between the people and add doubts of actual feelings.

First time equal restrain

As mentioned until the first time there is some kind of restrain and even taboo sometimes for good or bad,

It is funny when you think about saying such as once a cheat always a cheat.

And you wonder why is there such a saying but I believe it is because of the first time threshold.

So you want to do something “forbidden” for different reasons, moral, legal,….and you will delay or never complete that step because it is unknown and scary.

So if we take the example of the cheater, you are in a relationship and for what ever reason you are attracted to a different person. But you do not act on that impulse because you are in a relationship, it is scary and the risk versus the reward is too great.

But one day, the perfect opportunity happens and you cross the line and you kiss someone else, not necessarily go further. But the line has been crossed and now the boundary has been moved from flirting to kissing and the next step is then less scary.

And once you got away with it then you keep on pushing the boundaries and the line and the risk and until you are caught and have to pay for your action, you keep on pushing forward.

That is why once you have cheated once, if you do not get caught definitely will keep going but also once you have created a new threshold it is hard to keep to the original booundary.

With a new partner then that boundary is reset and back again but the temptation I believe is easier reached with each time you get away with it.

Serial killers

I also believe this also applies to illegal activities.

There is an escalation in all crimes most of the times.

You do not start mass murder, no you start small such as stealing without a weapon and it was fine you for away with it, so you keep pushing until you attack a bank with a gun in your hand.

Killers escalation is typical behaviour.

There are the passion crime which makes that the person kills without thinking but once again this opens the reduction in the threshold.

Serial killers have escalations, there is a trigger and one person is killed and they got away with it.

The thrill of the first kill is never the same with the second kill, so the escalation happens with more violence, more often and more risk until they are stopped one way or another.

Psychopath start in their childhood by killing animals before moving to humans, once again moving the goal with the results.

So what did we learn, first times are special but not unique and you can have many first times about many different matters.

First time doing something new can be scary but once you have done it then you know what to expect and the next time is easier.

I can see that with zip lining or tree adventure climbing, the first time is always the hardest but then you know it is not too bad and you can do it easier until it becomes less and less challenging, and when the challenge is not there anymore most of the time you will not bother doing it again.

So it is important to have some excitement in life but you need to see which ones are worse it or not in the log run.